You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger – Woody Allen


The meaninglessness of human suffering, the embarrassment of weaknesses, cowardice, the delirium of a dream come true were and always will be perfect themes for perfect works of art or for humiliating artistic failures. This time the master of doubts, illusions and betrayals, Woody Allen, delivers a limp interpretation of what actually is the core of his entire work that can and it is expressed by a quote from Shakespeare: “Life’s (…) full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”.

This quote opens and ends Allen’s latest work: “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger”. And it is an opening that makes us sit back and expect him, Allen, to tell us again the same story about hopelessness’, confusion, betrayal and illusion with his always refreshing cynical yet merciful approach.

The characters are treated with cruelty; the young ones are definitely the director’s favorite victims. Their destinies are left hanging on the edge of their nightmares’ cliff weather is about their professional life or their personal life. The old ones are treated with mercy, yet they’re not rendered happy in the end. They seem more like delusional and actually more connected to the afterlife than to real life. Anyway, all the characters have pretty interesting stories; all the conflicts are dramatic, absurd and filled with lessons for everybody.

But this bountiful screenplay chokes on its own bouquet of flavors. Somehow it is harder than ever to connect with any of Allen’s characters. Is it maybe because they’re too many? That shouldn’t be a problem for a director of his allure. Maybe it is because there is no real focus on anyone? That it is just another technical issue that shouldn’t necessarily kill a story.

I think the main problem is that this movie was meant to be a comedy but the ingredients that make a comedy were left out or not sufficiently used. There is no real opportunity for a good laugh and that’s the saddest thought I ever had about Woody Allen, ever.

Another horrifying feeling I had watching this film is that Woody Allen is tired of his own wit, that he has no patience to tell his own story, that he is in a hurry, that making this film he was rather fulfilling his needs as a workaholic than the urge of the artist.

This is junk entertainment and it is not even entertaining.

It’s junk when all the good scenes are in the trailer!

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